Augustine, Constantine, and Elmo
It may not be for you, but sitting here, realizing that my existence right now revolves around reading, writing, and reflecting, is preeeeetttyyyyyyyy great. (Things I'm not talking about: the crash-out I had trying to figure out what a history paper even IS, and the blank, soulless stare I had after reading an article about original sin.)
However, somewhere in between the readings about third-century Christianity, the city of God, various interpretations of the Exodus, and Biblical poetry; the impending doom I felt listening to the news about Palestine, the upcoming election in the US, and the state of the polar ice caps; and the quite rude bubbling up of grief/death of dreams I thought were in my past, I found myself sitting in the library, looking at the tower of some part of Princeton University out the window, and looking down at an embroidered bookmark of the Elmo meme.
Yes, "Bible College" is getting the gift of sitting with really smart people who can break down doctrines for you, trying to plan out when you're going to take language courses, and discussing the validity of getting a PhD over lunch; but it's also giggling at the existence of some sentences and conversations that can only exist in academia, giving your friend a side eye in a lecture about Augustine's views on original sin, and sitting on a bench under a tree between classes to write a blog post for your friends back home ;)
Your life probably isn't looking like mine right now - for one, you probably didn't have to read Augustine this week (and you are probably better for it), and I would bet that you aren't trying to figure out how the lecture on the Eucharist you just had relates in any way to the reading you did on Constantine. But I do expect that there are things that are happening in your life that are hard, and there are things that are weighing on your soul. In fact, I am confident that is true for you today.
Sometimes I think that what it really means to be human is TO struggle. (I believe the philosopher Blaise Pascal agreed with me, but I'm no philosophy major, so don't quote me on that!) To realize that things are not as they should be, that we are not as we should be, that things quite often don't go the way they ought to, and that there are just so many reasons to grieve; to throw up our hands and lose hope.
There is much to grieve and mourn, and yet life is also a bit of a paradox: it is also, quite honestly, a bit absurd and wonderful. And sometimes, at least for me, seeing that little bit of weirdness that makes me smile is what reminds me that God is still meeting me in the midst of all of *this.*
While we have much to carry, there is also the simultaneous existence of monarch butterflies, BBQ pork bao, Elmo Cross-stitch bookmarks, blue whale babies, tattoos, hiking boots, sparkly Dr. Who stickers, a Spotify playlist called "POV: You're a Bee," a poem about earthworms, ACTUAL earthworms, hoarfrost, 78-foot-tall cacti, and two friends somewhere who are giggling over something a cute boy said today.
It doesn't make everything else go away - life still marches on, the world still turns, tomorrow still comes - but what it does do is shake me out of my own doom spiral and remind me that I believe in a God who turns ashes into beauty, who promises to set captives free, who carries my burdens with me, and who hears when we call and then deigns to answer, if we deign to listen.
I never thought I'd be saying this, but thanks, Elmo, for the reminder!
Comments