The Storm before the Storm

As I'm sitting here writing this, it is exactly one week until I leave for Princeton. Everyone keeps asking me how I’m feeling and if I'm excited yet...and the honest answer is that I feel like I can't even begin to wrap my head around it. Which, I suppose, could be a problem since I'm moving in a week...

You see, this summer has just been so BUSY. What once felt like an endless space of two months turned into a whirlwind -- all good things, but a whirlwind nonetheless.

And this summer has been wonderful. I have been able to see family and friends, lingering in moments over ice cream and life chats, playing with kids and snuggling with babies, eating croissants and relishing the sunshine. It has also been so, so full. Though I have had downtime and chances to relax (aka trying to read through my stack of library books before I go and failing!), what I HAVEN'T done is take any significant amount of time to sit and reflect on what I am walking into.

Not that I think you always NEED to do that, but for some reason I feel a bit guilty about not having done so yet. Is it because if I don't take this extra time, I'm ungrateful? Or is it because I have been so busy that I really didn't get to most of the leisure elements I wanted to this summer (I only read 6-7 books, can you believe it?

And yet, I wouldn't change any of it.

Ok, ok, fine, I would probably have added a LITTLE more downtime and taken out a bit of phone-scrolling time. But wouldn't we all?

So anyway, calling this the storm before the storm is probably a misleading title. This summer has been anything but a storm -- it has been a time of smelling the proverbial roses of friendship and savouring the conversations held over s’mores and campfires (and the periodic spiral where I run back the 12 different things I need to get done before I move and redoing the mental Tetris about how I'm going to fit everything in my car.)

And school shouldn't be a storm either. This is, in fact, something I've been waiting to do for more than half my life! I am excited, and part of why this summer has been so busy is because I have been celebrating and spending time with as many people as I can.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think sometimes we let ourselves get in our own way. We over-emphasize the "next step" or the next "milestone" in life, which feeds into a constant feeling that we need to look for the next one. The next trip. The next stage in a relationship. The next job or promotion.

This isn't to say we ought not to celebrate - I am a big believer in celebrating the heck out of things. But what I am wondering is if, in the midst of all this looking for the next thing, we are missing what is happening around us. Are we missing out on what is happening on the way to our next phase? (And, of course, I wonder, "Are we celebrating the heck out of those times, too?")

The lyrics to the song "Step by Step" have been my focus phrase this year, in hopes that I would be able to see the beauty and importance of each day and step I take on my way to Seminary. The big steps, yes, but also all of the small steps in between.

I will seek you in the morning and I will learn to walk in your ways and step by step you'll lead me and I will follow you all of my days - Rich Mullens

So as I head into this school space and you step into whatever is next for you (big or small), I invite you to take each step confidently, enjoying the wildflowers and sunsets on your way there. I'll be trying to do that, too!